brittsdancingqueen:

Guffaws. There are plenty of videos at my parents house. I might bring some back with me next month and you can see baby Brittany at her first recital, her first solo and then the pageants. Oh God, the pageants. 

Maybe? I mean he’s been off himself and I was short with him yesterday too. I just don’t know. What if this is bigger than either of us is able to deal with? 

Oh, the pageants. I relish the idea of little Brittany as a pageant girl. Just the image. And the sash’s! Did you have a tiara? Fairy dress?

You’ll figure it out. And it’s not as though you’re doing this alone. Good, or bad, you are most definitely not going this alone. 

brittsdancingqueen:

Thankfully no one in my family saw. 

I’d like to say that I’m as optimistic as you but there’s the brick in the stomach feeling and his responses were curt, if you’ll pardon the pun. Worries my lip. 

Thankfully? I wanted video!

Maybe he sees how upset you’ve been. Maybe he realizes just how much of a rift has been implemented. Maybe he wants to fix things.

brittsdancingqueen:

Laughs with you. It was the highest point in my life. 

Nah, I don’t think people are but what with everything else going on? Looks at you pointedly. They probably don’t know what day it is most of the time. I’ve texted Puck by the way, telling him we need to talk so we’ll see how that goes. 

I can imagine. Squeezes her hand.

I’m glad. I know this simply has to be a tiff. It’ll pass, I promise, and you’ll both come out better people because of it. Mark my words.

brittsdancingqueen:

Smiles at you and leans over to squeeze your hand. Thank you. Hey, hey, no laughing at my singing, mister. I once swayed in the back, like a prop, of a production I’ll have you know. 

Oh God, really? I’m sorry. Both for the reaction and why it’s happening. Frowns. I doubt he’s having a great time of it either. 

A very lovely prop. One in the ‘handle with care’ boxes! Continues, laughing.

Thank you. I feel like that emotional wreck that everyone tries their damnedest to avoid. Taps the lid of the coffee cup. I know. God, I know. Sighs.

brittsdancingqueen:

Shakes my head, vigorously. Most of my time at college was spent in a monogamous relationship. Well it was from my side, not his. Remember, I was an eighteen year old Catholic country girl when I arrived in New York and all that entails. But I got really badly burned by the experience with him so shut my heart off and dealt with it in a far too self-destructive way. Gulps and looks at the table. I’m not proud of it, at all, and if I’m ever lucky enough to have a daughter, I’ll make sure she learns from my mistakes. 

Another shot of whiskey, can’t stop looking at the door. Wishing you’d come sweeping in the way you did before and I wonder if I ever cross your mind? For me, it happens all the time. Pokes my tongue out and smiles. 

Sighs. So maybe once everything is calmer for you, you can approach him again? Or maybe get your friendship with him in order first? I mean we all know there’s never enough hours in the day when things are going right never mind when they’re going badly. 

She’d be proud of who you are, right now, just like everyone else is. I mean that. Laughs at her.

No. Time heals all wounds and all that, but I physically ache just hearing his name, Brittany, it’s as if I’m like a high school freshman; it’s almost humiliating enough to weigh out the gripe. 

brittsdancingqueen:

Yeah maybe, given my intuition is what started me onto noticing all of this in the first place. Whatever happened to flings and hook ups, eh? Smirks. 

You two are both pretty talkative people so of course it’s hard. Ooh, the urge to sing a well-known country crossover hit right now is strong but we’re in public so I won’t. Takes a look at you and frowns. Do you want to go get a proper drink? 

Flings and hookups, see? You are such a college girl at heart. Laughs.

Please do, I could well use the amusement. Smirks right back. I may have slipped a bit, mentally, last night, but I’m not in any way planning on drinking any time soon. Sighs. It’s not even as though I wouldn’t have him back in a flat second, I just can’t do that to him, Britt. That sort of limbo, it just- It isn’t- I can’t. I can’t, and it’s killing me, but there’s nothing I can do about it. And I don’t even know if I’m ready to talk about certain things with him, it’s all very… up in the air with me, right now. The wedding’s getting closer, there’s a ton of work I have to get done, and maybe this was just entirely for the best. I’m so preoccupied, and I hadn’t even realized just how much, I was probably neglecting him, regardless.